Is it for Nora, as I once proclaimed? Will Nora ever even read this?
Is it for me? Because there certainly is something therapeutic in writing.
Is it for you? Because I continue to get thanks from people for writing- although I'm not sure what I'm writing for?
Am I writing on the off-chance that somewhere, someday, someone that is struggling with something mildly related can find peace in knowing they aren't alone? That there is hope?
Is it because we aren't out of the woods? But then again, will we, Nora, ever really be out of the woods?
What is it that we are really going through? Is it parenting a baby with heart defects? A baby with lung abnormalities? A baby with Turner's syndrome and a lifetime of medical care ahead of her?
Is it finding our way through the guilt and confusion in having a baby with chromosome abnormalities?
Is it coping and maintaining a marriage while also taking on children, and children with high demands?
Or is it simply parenting we are doing? Life we are taking on?
The answer, I don't know.
I do know a few things though.
It's taken a lot of work to get right here. There is no doubt about the struggles we have been through- emotionally, mentally, physically, financially- they are all part of this. We certainly have done little relaxing since last September.
It takes brain power, thought, emotion, communication, hope, love, prayer, God and strength to do all of these things.
It takes forgiveness, too. To forgive ourselves for not passing on that damn X chromosome to Nora is no small undertaking. It takes strength to see beyond the abnormalities they show you in ultrasounds and believe in a little, beautiful baby girl. It takes hope to pass your baby girl off to surgeons to perform heart surgery. It takes emotional stability and instability, as well as openness to allow all of it to enter and then, escape again. It takes faith and prayer and trust in God to take care of you.
This experience has without a doubt changed Kevin and I. We have had to make choices we never thought we would make. We have had emotions we never thought we would feel. We have laughed and smiled in the oddest of situations. We have grown together, and apart, and in sync, and out of sync. We have developed patience and teamwork. We have gained trust. We have learned to cope with what life hands us.
We have become parents.
That one is most important.
God granted us our baby girl. I thank him every day for that gift. at the end of all of this- the doctors. The nurses. The therapists. The ultrasound gel. The echocardiograms. The confusion. The tears. The smiles. The worry- at the end of all of it lies this undeniably beautiful and perfect baby girl created by God and Kevin and I, nurtured by sooo very many people. It's a gift not all are given. It's something not to be taken lightly or for granted.
We are blessed beyond words and grateful for every moment with this peanut!
As we approach the end of the school year we face some doctor appointments that will determine our next battles, or celebrations. We will see in early June if Nora Grace does or does not need surgery to remove the masses on her lungs. If she doesn't, summer commences and at the pool we shall celebrate! If she does, who wants to watch the pups while we take on Children's Hospital once again?
And some exciting things are happening as well! Remember back in September when we all walked and raised money to support a future Turber's clinic at Children's Hosptial!? Well, it's finally happening!! At the end of this month we will go to the FIRST EVER Turner's clinic and meet a ton of doctors, and other girls with Turners, and see what everyone's hard work support has created! We are so very thrilled to share in the clinic's first day! Our appointment might actually be the first of the day!
Continue to pray for our Nora- but also pray for the many men and women out there hoping to one day meet their little baby alive, hoping they will find peace in a tough spot, and hoping they find a way through it.
Many thanks!!!
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| Throwback Thursday- to our first family photo, and Life Is Good Day- the day Nora had surgery! |
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