Hallelujah some more...

God is so, so good. 

And he sure does listen. 

Now, readers out there, listen to this...

While we were waiting for what felt like an eternity at the doctor's office I thought all the thoughts that one could possibly think in such a spot. Kevin tried to distract me. Poor guy got some real looks from me, I'm sure. He kissed my forehead. He heard me say, "Stop, Kev, I just don't care." So, there he sat with me, holding me and helping me through the waiting. And he watched me pray. Over and over and over again. In silence we sat. But my heart wasn't silent. Each beat of my heart felt like the hardest, heaviest beat it's ever taken.  I prayed the same thing the pastor on Sunday prayed, "Lord, make today extraordinary." I said, "God, help us." 

Then, the doctor came in before we met the cardiologist. His words:

"Things look better today. It looks like a different baby today than last week. Her heart looks good." 

I've never been in such disbelief. I just stared at him, mouth open wide. Kevin grabbed my hand and I nearly cried. 

Still more:

"Last week she was in such a tight, curled up little ball, we couldn't see her heart well enough. Today she isn't as curled up, and we can see it better. It looks good. The cardiologist will come in and tell you all about it, but know that things looks better." 

Well, they can go ahead and tell themselves it's just that little ball Nora was in. 

But I know that's not it. 

God granted us a miracle. 

He listed to all of our prayers. 

Garth Brooks once said, "...some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers." 

Well, Garth, I never thought I'd be so happy to disagree with you with such vigor. 

This is God's greatest gift to me. To us.

The cardiologist came in and she said, "It's a girl! Does she have a name?"

This simple question brought joy to my heart. This doctor saw us as people with more than pumping organs for hearts, but feelings. And she called Nora by her name the rest of the appointment. 

And the rest of the appointment I sat silent some more. This time saying this: "THANK YOU, LORD. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU."

She showed us all the parts of her heart that looked "normal." She told us that she can't see every inch of that aorta just yet (Nora was not cooperating, "she is spunky" they said, "that's a great thing!"). She said things like, "Looks like I'll look at all these parts after she is born (can you believe they said that!! AFTER she is BORN!?!). "Turner's certainly puts her at risk of some heart concerns, and we definitely want to look more after birth, but all looks ok, from a cardiology standpoint you can deliver at whatever hospital you want to, and then she'll have some tests in the days after she is born," she said! To me it sounded like she was singing it though- in a Julie Andrews voice of sorts. It was beautiful. 

Then, the doctor came back in. He said, "It looks good." 

Kevin asked more questions. Things like, "All the other things we talked about last week, are those not as big of a concern now?" The doctor replied, "Pretty much, not as much."

I said things like, "How big of a concern is that hygroma at this point?" He said, "It is what it is. Many times we see it get smaller on it's own. Sometimes, not usually, it stays the same. On rare occasions it gets bigger. We'll keep and eye on it, but you should still be able to have a go at a vaginal birth the way we are looking at it right now. And later on in the pregnancy we'll have you talk with a plastic surgeon. It's really just cosmetic." WHAT? WHAT'S THAT YOU SAY!?!?! I can't even believe it still. 

He did mention that there is still a risk for loss. And this I am aware of. BUT, I don't any longer have anything tangible to grasp that shows she will likely not make it.  All I have now is blind hope she will. I can handle that.  

We aren't out of the dark. Not at all. The rate of loss is high. But the cardiologist said this, "Most of the time what we are most concerned about for loss in Turner's is heart defects. And, Nora's heart looks good." 

Hallelujah. Praise that good Lord above. 

I still pray every moment my mind is open to thoughts other than things like reading scores and math schedules of students, or what meeting I am at." But now, with each prayer I add a great big, THANK YOU. 

Don't forget. With each thanks I send towards God, I include all of you. You've all been so very wonderful for us. I can't express how much love and support I feel from all of you. Your prayers are making a difference, and your joy in our joy means the world to us. Thank you from the very bottom of my heart.