Reasons to Freak Out

I don't know if I've made myself clear.

I'm completely freaking out.

Isn't everyone who is at the brink of having their first child?
This morning, I rolled over, looked at the clock, pet the pups, rolled back over, gave Kev a little snuggle and laid under the covers for another HOUR resting. A WHOLE HOUR. Then, I started freaking out- THIS MIGHT BE THE LAST TIME I CAN DO THIS FOR THE NEXT 18 YEARS!?!

Ok- so then I made the realization that I can probably con someone, anyone, into making Nora their responsibility in the a.m. at least once in the next 18 years. And, goodness I sure hope that I can teach an ounce of responsibility to her before 18 that ensures I don't have to be there every waking moment of her existence. At the very least, I can act really, really, really tired so Kev will have to do it. :)

Rolling over and going back to sleep is a very real thing to freak out about.

Turner's Syndrome is not a reason to freak out.

Nora has Turner's Syndrome.
Soooooo? What's the big deal?

Nora might be short. She might not be able to have kids of her own. She might have one less X chromosome than her best friend.

She also might be a marathon runner or champion discuss thrower or spelling bee extraordinaire. She might be terrible at sharing. She might love chocolate cake. She might be a miserable swimmer and hate the snow.

I'm totally over the whole Turner's Syndrome ordeal. It doesn't scare me, it doesn't bother me. Sure, it concerns me because we have some parenting things to figure out in how to discuss this all with Nora, how to make the best decisions medically for Nora, how to be proactive and not allow it to be her everything. But also, some days just let it be her everything.

I imagine Turner's might be something like any other "thing" we deal with. Like how sometimes having glasses totally sucks because you get self-conscious about looking nerdy as a kid, and other days you forget your contacts when you're skiing and it totally ruins the day. And sometimes someone tells you that you look beautiful in glasses, and just like that glasses are just not that bad. Sometimes it will be frustrating, and annoying and even the cause of much sadness- but it's not going to make or break anyones life.

Heart Surgery is a reason to freak out.

Tons of people have heart surgery. Most people live to tell the tale. It can be rough. But they make it. I'll bet that's how it will go for Nora, too. It's gonna be a rough few weeks. And she is going to have a battle scar to show how tough she is. I'm going to be so bummed that we are spending weeks in the hospital, instead of weeks snuggling on the couch. And I'll get a lot more gray hairs. I'll be so tired. And our stress level will sky rocket. It's going to totally suck. And it's looming over our heads. And it's totally freaking us out. But we'll get through it. We'll come home and get to snuggle on the couch eventually. And it's totally gonna rock.

Lung surgery is a reason to freak out.

Current news leads us to think that Nora may not need lung surgery immediately. Maybe in month two or three she will undergo lung surgery. They seem to think that her lung function will not be inhibited by the masses at this point, but may cause infection later on. So, they'll need to be removed- but not immediately. At least we hope. Nothing is certain though- she'll let us know when she gets here. It doesn't sound as though anyone is too concerned about the lung surgery- at least not in the land of medical experts. But we feel pretty concerned about it. And rightfully so.

Child birth is a reason to freak out.

That's gonna totally suck. And hurt. And we both have no idea how that is going to go. Need I really say anything more on that topic?

Having a baby is a reason to freak out.

Having a baby is going to seriously change our lives. Emotionally. Socially. Financially. Physically. Etc. Etc. Etc. So, we'll figure that out as we go. But, for now, we're freaking out.

But, for real, Turner's Syndrome is not a reason to freak out.

If you're looking for a reason to freak out- let's start with child birth. That's happening on January 1. They'll induce at Children's Hospital that night, and hope for a day time delivery on the 2nd. Then, all the decisions start happening. And also, all the baby loving starts happening. And also, some more freaking out.

So, we have like 8 more days to roll over and go back to sleep.

Yay!